If by Rudyard Kipling Assembly or Class Play Cast of 30 - easily adaptable up or down. Duration - around 10 minutes not including music suggestions. Unlikely as this may seem but this classic poem by Rudyard Kipling manages to bring together 20 readers and 8 rappers - along with one somewhat incredulous Narrator and poet! This assembly includes both original material and ... well, who can argue that the rappers aren't themselves a pretty original lot - to say nothing of the material they produce! If the language of the original If seems a little dated now, take heart from what can still be gleaned from it, in the right enthusiastic hands! Sample Text Rapper 4: So I think it’s fair to say Rapper 5: It’s all a bit iffy! (All rappers laugh) Narrator: Now, now people! A little respect for our great poet here, if you please! Rapper 6: Oh! Absolutely no disrespect intended, bro! Rapper 7: No, we were just making the point that none of what we are about to say is a given! Narrator: Pardon? Rapper 8: It’s all about making your own choices. Rapper 1: Nobody can make you good! Rapper 2: That has to come from you! Rapper 3: And that’s not always easy! Rapper 4: Take that first couple of lines (Narrator points to Reader 1) Reader 1: If you can keep your head when all about you Are losing theirs and blaming it on you Rapper 4: Sound familiar? Rapper 5: In this crazy world where everything has to be ‘now’, how many people do you know who can stay calm under pressure? Other poems converted into plays by Sue Russell: • Smugglers Song – Rudyard Kipling • The Highwayman – Alfred Noyes Also available – a large collection of alternative Shakespeare and fairy tale scripts plus • Take a Book – Different Genres of Writing Assembly • Great British Writers Assembly. This short small cast assembly - 6 speakers (with adaptations for whole class) focuses on the writers *Roald Dahl, C.S. Lewis, A.A. Milne, Lewis Carroll and J.K. Rowling and their books. • Roald Dahl Assembly

Aesop Fables: The Lion and the Mouse Guided Reading Script plus lesson plan including teaching input, synopsis, guided reading script, discussion points and suggestions for further work. Cast of 6, around 10 minutes reading time Lesson: 20 – 30 minutes, depending on how much of the lesson plan is used. The material could, of course, be split over a series of sessions. The script can be used either as a guided reading script (6 readers) or as a mini performance (cast of 6); and could be used either in a Literacy or PSHE class (owing to the life lessons contained within the text) Sample Text Lion: Because sometimes you need to listen to someone else, take their advice Mouse: However small they are! And that’s exactly what he did! Lion: Yes, I listened Teacher: And then was ‘big’ enough to act on that advice! See, sometimes you can become big by the smallest actions! Pupil 2: (To Lion) So you let the mouse go? Lion: That’s right! Was I the champ? Or was I the champ? Mouse: (Coughing) Eh hem! Small matter of what I said to you? Lion: Ah yes! You mean, helping me out at some future event Mouse: When you, my large friend, might actually need me! Pupil 1: (To Lion) And did you? I mean, need your wee friend? Lion: Oh, I most certainly did! I wouldn’t be standing here talking to you today if I hadn’t let my rodent friend here go! Narrator: So, what happened? Lion: I got caught by hunters, is what happened! Soon after bidding farewell to Mouse here, I managed to fall into a trap and get all tied up in knots! Mouse: (Laughing) How very careless of you! Lion: No laughing matter, I can assure you! If you, Mouse, hadn’t come along and rescued me Pupil 2: (Gasping) What? You, a mighty lion, rescued by a mini mouse? Lion: Indeed. And I’m not ashamed to admit it. Teacher: Which makes you an even bigger, grander lion in my opinion! Pupil 1: And mine! Pupil 2: (Spluttering) But, but, wasn’t it just the tiniest bit humiliating – being rescued by a mere mouse? Mouse: (Sighing) Oh dear! I can see we might just have to spell this one out! Other available scripts: The Fox and the Stork, The Goose that Laid the Golden Eggs, The Jay and the Peacock and The Tortoise and the Hare - available separately or as a set.

World Cup 2018 Assembly Cast Size – 33 as this includes Referee plus 32 competing nations - but speaking parts can be doubled up, to the number required. Duration - Around 20 minutes (not including music) A referee's job is never the easiest in the world - but put him in charge of 32 teams from across the world - all together, at the same time ..... Does he have his work cut out or does he have his work cut out?! Join him plus 32 nations in this celebration of the World Cup - all lining up for one of the greatest sporting events on the planet! Sample Text: Referee: Sorry, I didn’t quite catch that. What are we here celebrating today? Whole Cast: (Shouting louder) THE WORLD CUP! (Referee blows whistle) Referee: OK. OK. Sit down everyone. Don’t let’s get too excited! It is, after all, only football! English Fan: (In outrage) Pardon? Have you never heard what the great Bill Shankly had to say? Referee: No. But I’ve a feeling I’m going to! English Fan: He said “Some people believe football is a matter of life and death. I’m very disappointed with that attitude. I can assure you it is much, much more important than that”! Referee: (Shrugging) And there was me, thinking it was just sport! So, let’s find out a little more about the World Cup, starting with where it’s going to be held this year, 2018. Russia: In Russia! We, as the host nation, (turning to cast) are happy to welcome you all! (Everyone cheers) Referee: Thank you, Russia. Tell me. How many countries are there competing this year? Russia: Thirty two! Referee: Let’s meet them! In Group A (Each country, represented by a fan dressed in his team colours, stands and waves national flag in turn before sitting down again) Russia: Russia! We’re the host nation Saudi Arabia: Saudi Arabia. The first team to take on the host nation in the opening match! Egypt: Egypt! Referee: Welcome back! Egypt: Yes, it’s been 28 years since our last appearance in a world cup, in 1990. Uruguay: Uruguay! We were the very first host, in 1930.

India Assembly Cast of 30 - easily adaptable up or down Duration - minimum 10 minutes reading time - this, as explained in Production Notes, could be increased to 30 minutes plus The cast (should that be caste?!) of this Indian Assembly or Class Play is anything but equal with the appearance of three gods - two with 4 arms and the other with 4 heads - which one is the narrator supposed to address? Just one of the many problems facing our narrator - the main one being sheer volume of music, colour, joy and .. well everything that makes India such a vibrant country! Sample Text: Music 2 (Shiva dances across ‘the stage’) (Narrator tries to stop him but is confused by the number of arms – four) Narrator: Er, em, excuse me … but who are you and what are you doing? Shiva: What am I doing? Isn’t it obvious? I’m dancing, of course! Narrator: Well, I think we can all see that. But who are you? Shiva: (Exploding) Who am I? Who am I? Narrator: Well, if you put it like that – yes, who are you? (Whole cast gasps in horror) (Child 7 goes over to Narrator) Child 7: (Aside) Surely you know who this is? Narrator: (Irritably) Well, do you really think I’d be asking if I did? Child 7: It’s Shiva – the Destroyer! (Narrator gasps) Narrator: Oh no! Not that god with the power of life and death? Child 7: That’s the one! Narrator: (To Shiva) Oh I am most dreadfully sorry! I had no idea that it was you, Shiva! Shiva: Oh I’ll forgive you! I guess I do look (waving arms around) pretty ‘armless! Narrator: Well, I wouldn’t say that! I mean, I think I counted … four arms? Shiva: Oh that’s nothing! When you compare it with number of names I have! Narrator: And they are? (Holds up fingers to start counting on) Now, let’s see. Starting with Shiva … Shiva: Er, I don’t think we have time to run through the others – there are over one thousand of them! This is one of several assemblies written by Sue Russell on different countries. Others include England, Scotland, Wales, Great Britain, Holland, Australia, France, Spain, Malta and India plus ‘Around the World in 20 Minutes’. Other Indian scripts: Divali and the Story of Rama & Sita (as a play within a play - a little like Midsummer Night’s Dream!) plus scripts on Gandhi and on the Indus Valley Civilisation.

It's Good To Be Me Leavers Assembly Class size - any Duration - open ended This leavers’ assembly can be tailored to any class or year group size; and likewise can be any length. I have provided a 'skeleton script' of around 5 minutes actual reading time but with numerous opportunities to add on e.g. in 'Wish' and 'Achievement' sections. There are also numerous songs/music which can be included or omitted accordingly. There is the additional fun 'option' of the schools staff 'joining in' at the end - but this is optional and can be left out. Sample Text: Child 1: What’s there to celebrate? Child 2: (Holding up Numeracy exercise book) Look at my scores in Maths. Five out of ten, six out of ten, three out of ten … Why do I bother? I’ll never get Maths! Child 3: Huh! Think that’s bad? You should see the marks I get in my spelling tests! You think you’ve got number blindness? (Child 2 nodding in agreement). Well, I’ve sure got a bad case of blindness when it comes to stringing more than two letters together! Child 4: But at least you don’t make everybody around you wish they were deaf! (Starts singing totally off key/out of tune ‘Do Ray Me Far So La Tea Doe’ set of scales. Whole cast clasps their hands over their ears). See what I mean? Teacher: (Uncovering ears) Hey? What? Oh, you mean your slight lack of musicality? Well, maybe there is just a little room for improvement. Child 5: (Holding up bits of woodwork, taped together but falling apart) And what about my latest Design Technology ‘project’? I don’t think I’ll be getting the call to build the next Olympic stadium! Teacher: (Stroking chin, reflectively) Hmm. Maybe not. Child 6: (Holding up ‘art work’ – black dot in middle of yellow paint) And I don’t suppose I’ll be in the Tate Gallery any time soon! Teacher: Ooh. I wouldn’t bank on it – have you been recently? ‘Anything goes’ there! I think your work would fit in perfectly! Child 7: (Breathlessly) But what about me? I try every year to run that one minute mile – but have I got beyond one hundred metres yet? (Starts coughing and clutching his side) Not a chance! Teacher: Enough! Enough! What is wrong with you guys? Other Leavers Assemblies by Sue Russell: • Leavers' Assembly for Year 6's • Our School's Got Talent Leavers' Assembly • Olympics Leavers Assembly • School's Out Leavers' Assembly

Royal Wedding Assembly Harry and Meghan Duration: around 10 minutes (not including music suggestions) A cast of 30. The content of this production focuses on Harry's ancestors and leaves one wondering if Meghan has been fully 'prepped' on the royal family - with all its highs (Alfred the Great?) and lows (toss-up between King John and Richard III maybe!). Maybe it’s just as well she isn't fully acquainted with her predecessors - or she might think twice about that walk down the aisle! Script comes with a complete listing of the English Monarchy Duration: around 10 minutes (not including music suggestions) Narrator: Good morning and welcome to our assembly on The Royal Wedding. Now, we all know what a busy time this is for the royal couple – especially for Meghan. With all that looking for the right dress, booking the hairdresser, finding the best flower lady …. My, has she got her work cut out! So, we thought - there’s no way this royal bride will find time to read up about the family she is marrying into. That’s why we took it on ourselves to do the hard work for her! Don’t you think she’ll be pleased? I mean, who knows what Harry might not have said about his ancestors? And don’t we all agree, a girl does have the right to know - certainly before she takes that long walk down the aisle? So, for those of you, along with Meghan, interested in the royal family, start listening now! You’ll be amazed at what you’ll learn! This morning we’ll kick off with the present day royal family - the House of Windsor. Starting with Child 1: (Holding up picture of Harry) Harry! Narrator: Ah! The bridegroom himself! Let’s hear it! Child 2: Harry is the second son of (holds up picture) Charles, the Prince of Wales – now married to Camilla. Child 3: (Holding up picture) Harry’s mother, Diana, Princess of Wales, was tragically killed in a road accident in 1997. Child 4: (Holding up picture) Harry has an older brother, William. It was only a few years ago that Harry was best man at William’s wedding. William married Catherine Middleton 29th April 2011 at Westminster Abbey; whereas Harry and Meghan will be ‘tying the knot’ at St. George’s Chapel, Windsor Castle in May 2018. Child 5: Harry and William have a rather important grandma – the Queen! Child 6: Queen Elizabeth the second is married to the Duke of Edinburgh and has four children Child 7: Prince Charles, Harry’s dad Child 8: Prince Andrew, the Duke of York Child 9: Prince Edward, the Earl of Wessex Child 10: And a daughter, Princess Anne, the Princess Royal. Narrator: All fine representatives of the monarchy – but was it always thus? We looked at some examples of good and bad monarchs and drew our own conclusions! Starting with Child 11: Alfred the Great!

Awesome Animal World Record Breakers Assembly This script was written for KS II but can be simplified for KSI. A separate script for KSI will shortly be available Cast of 30 Cast size can be easily adjusted up or down by the adding on or taking off the suggested list of animals. Duration Around 20 minutes not including music suggestions As with cast size, this can be altered according to the number of animals and amount of information given on each. This script covers the biggest, the smallest, the fiercest, the fastest, the smartest, the longest-living ..... a truly awesome cast! KS I script shortly available Sample Text: Narrator: (Jumping back in alarm) Wow! I didn’t see you fly in! Komodo Dragon: (Patiently) That’s because I didn’t! I’m a Komodo dragon from South East Asia. And, just for the record, I neither fly nor breathe fire! Narrator: But you look pretty fearsome, for all that! Komodo Dragon: Well, I am the world’s largest lizard and I do have some pretty unpleasant poison and bacteria in my saliva! Narrator: Ugh! Not a nice way to die! I think we’ll have you just sitting nice and quietly back here, where you came from! (Narrator leads dragon back to his place) Music 4 Chariots of Fire (Enter Ostrich, running gracefully in time to the music) (Narrator holds up hand for ostrich to stop) Narrator: Er excuse me! I hate to interrupt your morning exercise Ostrich: Oh, I can go way faster than that! I’m just warming up! Apart from being the world’s biggest bird, I am also the fastest runner – for a bird, that is! Seventy km an hour! Narrator: Wow! That’s fast (pauses) considering your size! Ostrich: I also lay the largest eggs and have the biggest eyes to watch over them! (Enter Goliath bird-eater spider – whole cast shrieks and cowers in fright) Goliath Bird-Eater Spider: Just as well you don’t live anywhere near me! Ostrich: (Haughtily) South America is a long way from my African home (pauses) but seriously? One stamp from me and you’re history!

World Cup 2018 Quiz 100 questions (and answers!) on this year's World Cup and those that have gone before. Enjoy! Also available: World Cup Assembly, World Cup Leavers Assembly, World Cup Guided Readers plus resources on participating countries. Sample Text: I Quirky Facts 1. Who used to practice with a slipper on his right foot and why? 2. Where was the original world cup trophy kept during the Second World War? II 2018 World Cup 1. How often is the World Cup held? 2. Where is the 2018 World Cup being held? III History 1. When was the first World Cup held? 2. Where was it held? IV Records 1. What country has made the most appearances – the only country to have appeared in every World Cup? 2. How many appearances has this country made? V Quotations 1. Who said “Some people believe football is a matter of life and death. I’m very disappointed with that attitude. I can assure you it is much, much more important than that.” – said to be the greatest football saying in 2006?

Eurovision Song Contest Assembly or Class Play updated to 2018 Maybe this year – a few more points for Grande Bretagne?! It's that time of year again! Get ready for the funniest show on earth! (Does anyone really take it seriously?!) This assembly gives a quick chronological run through past winners ... and losers! How can, for example, the UK get it so right ... and yet so desperately wrong! A light hearted coverage of all UK winning songs (and runners up) plus such greats as Abba. The song list is memorable - for all the right reasons! Cast size 30 - easily adaptable up or down. Duration: 15 - 30 minutes (depending on number of songs chosen) Sample Text Music 8 Waterloo – Abba (Whole cast plus ‘Abba representative sings song) Narrator: Wow! What a hit that was! It certainly launched Abba into a glittering rock career! Rock Star (‘Cliff’) (Grumbling) And as if it wasn’t bad enough - our beautiful Olivia Newton John being pipped to the post. Then it happens again the following year – this time to my mates The Shadows! Music 9 Let Me Be the One – The Shadows (Whole cast singing brief excerpt from song) (Judge charging back onto stage) Narrator: (Testily) You again! Judge: But they didn’t win! I thought this line up was meant to be just for winners! Narrator: (Outraged) What? And miss some of the best music? Never! (Turning to cast) Are we agreed? Whole Cast: (Blowing kisses at Narrator) Oh yes! Peace and happiness! We love you! Music 10 Save Your Kisses for Me – Brotherhood of Man (Whole cast plus Narrator sing this song) Narrator: (Sighing) Ah! 1976! Another great win for the United Kingdom!

Awe and Wonder Assembly This KS II class play is on awe and wonder – and there’s plenty of that about in the awesome world of nature! Scoring a ‘WOW!’ proves a bit of a challenge for this particular set of children – it seems to take a lot to impress the ‘awe-full-not’ teacher who is taking the assembly! Cast of 30 (easily adaptable up or down) Duration - around 15 minutes not including music suggestions This script is the first in a series of Awe and Wonder Assemblies – the second one being on Man Made Wonders – loosely based on the Seven Wonders of the World but probably with a lot more thrown in! There will be ‘parallel’ simpler scripts for Key Stage I children on this theme. Sample Text Narrator: So. Let us make sure this assembly is (pauses) awesome! What have you got for me? Child 12: Well, we thought we’d start with all the most awesome places in the world. Child 13: Aside from our school, of course! Narrator: (Smiling) Of course! Child 14: So, what about (Each child in turn holds up a picture of the place they are describing) Child 14: This great lump of rock! Narrator: Great lump of rock? What’s so awesome about that? Child 14: (Indignantly, to Child 10) What were you saying about adults? This lump of rock just happens to be Uluru – otherwise known as Ayer’s Rock, in Australia. Narrator: Well, it does have a pretty amazing colour. Child 14: Red sandstone! Formed six hundred million years ago! Narrator: Wow! (Whole cast cheers) Child 10: Wow! We got a wow! Narrator: Well, I’m not that hard to impress! Child 14: Difficult not to be impressed by the world’s biggest monolith – that’s a single rock, by the way! Narrator: Yes, yes. I knew that! Child 14: And that it’s some nine kilometres in circumference? Narrator: Hmm. Of course! I am a teacher, you know! Child 15: Well. What about this. The Grand Canyon! Narrator: More rocks? Child 15: (Indignantly) Yes but these rocks form one of the deepest gorges on Earth!

Pancake Day Assembly or Class Play Cast of 30. Duration 15 - 20 minutes. Maybe a case of too many cooks in the kitchen? And whoever said flipping a pancake was easy? Definitely time somebody in the kitchen gave up something for Lent - could the belly size of that Master Chef, Monsieur Bon Appetit, be a clue? This is a light-hearted assembly based on Shrove Tuesday - otherwise known as Pancake Day or Mardi Gras - Fat Tuesday! Sample Text: Narrator: Hmm! But the whole point of Shrove Tuesday Chef 13: Is that it’s the last day before Lent! Chef 14: Which is all about giving up things. Narrator: And how long does Lent last? Chef 15: Well, traditionally it’s forty days Chef 16: Between Ash Wednesday and Maundy Thursday Chef 17: Or around six weeks leading up to Easter. Narrator: OK. So going back to Shrove Tuesday, why the pancakes? Chef 18: Well, I guess they’re a way of using up things like eggs, milk and sugar before this time of fasting? Narrator: (Clapping) Ah! You guess right! Congratulations! So, what are we waiting for? (Enter Master Chef) Master Chef: Or shouldn’t that be, who are we waiting for? Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten Moi? Narrator: Ah! You must be Master Chef: Monsieur Bon Appetit! Narrator: A fine name Master Chef: For a fine chef! The best! Moi? Je suis magnifique! Narrator: (Aside) And so very humble! (To Master Chef) Monsieur, we are delighted you could join us today! Master Chef: Mon plaisir! (Looking around) So, where is mon cuisine? (Everyone looks around in confusion) Narrator: Er, I think it might be helpful if you could try and stick to English. Master Chef: (Huffily) As you wish! So, where is my pan? Where are my ingredients? Where Narrator: (Interrupting) Oh don’t worry! We’ve got all that sorted! Look! You have an army of chefs to help you! Master Chef: (Muttering to audience) Hmph! Ever heard the expression ‘Too many cooks spoil the broth’? Narrator: Sorry, we didn’t quite catch that! Master Chef: Oh don’t worry! Just saying what a delightful set of helpers I have here today! So, let us start. (Enter Chefs 19 - 28 with ‘kitchen props’; chefs proceed to prepare pancakes under watchful eye of Master Chef, who stands over and checks their every move, occasionally stepping in to show them how it is done ‘properly’)

Superheroes Assembly for Key Stage I Duration: Around 10 – 15 minutes depending on how many ‘superhero demonstrations’ there are. The first ‘speaking’ part of the assembly is around 5 minutes reading time. The rest of the assembly is down to the teacher in charge as explained in Production Notes. Cast: Written for cast of 30 but easily adaptable up or down. The cast comprises class teacher as narrator plus children 1 – 30. This assembly or class play is in roughly two parts - the first deals with the qualities of a superhero and how a superhero would change the world; the second is a demonstration of 'superpowers' by different 'superheroes'. It is very much a 'movable feast' - the children can make their own choices re: how they'd change the world; and likewise choose which superheroes they'd like to portray - they can even make up their own. I have thus provided a 'template' which can be adapted according to class numbers and 'members'. Sample Text: Narrator: Good morning and welcome to our assembly on Whole cast: (Together) Superheroes! Narrator: So, for the benefit of our audience, what makes a superhero? Or maybe I should ask the question, what makes a hero super? Child 1: Super powers, of course! Child 2: You can’t do much without them! Child 3: Especially against those horrible baddies! Narrator: So. Let me get this straight. Heroes are always good? Child 4: Right. They fight for what is good in the world Child 5: Against all that is bad! Narrator: That must take a lot of courage! Child 6: That’s why they’re superheroes! Child 7: Brave! Child 8: Strong! Child 9: And determined! Child 10: It’s not always easy being a superhero! Narrator: (To cast) So. If you had the powers of a superhero, what would you do to make the world a better place? Child 11: I would take food to everyone who was hungry. Child 12: I would give shelter to everyone without a home. Child 13: I would hug everyone who feels unloved. Child 14: I would drive around in a Ferrari! Narrator: (Snorting) Oh really! And how is that going to improve the world? Child 14: Well, it would certainly improve mine!

Easter Story Assembly Cast of around 30 Duration: Around 10 minutes reading time (this does not allow for changes of scene, music etc taking play to around 20 minutes) This Easter Story class play relates to all the major events: Jesus' jubilant entry into Jerusalem, Jesus' fury in Temple, Judas' act of betrayal, The Last Supper, Arrest in Garden of Gethsemane, Caiaphas' 'verdict', Roman Trial with Pontius Pilate leading to Crucifixion, Tomb scene and Peter's summing up at the end. The play begins and ends on a jubilant note - starting with 'Give me Joy in my Heart' and ending with 'Lord of the Dance'. SAMPLE TEXT: Scene 1 Jerusalem Music 1 (Child 1 and 2, Woman 1 and 2, plus lame child stand in a line, waving palm leaves over their heads, and singing chorus to the hymn, whilst eagerly awaiting arrival of Jesus. Standing to one side of them are two stern-looking priests, scowling in disapproval) (Enter Peter) Peter: (Addressing singers) Wow! What joyful music! Tell me. What are you celebrating? Child 1: Haven't you heard? Peter: Heard what? Child 1: Of the coming of the Son of God? Child 2: Of the King of the Jews? (Enter priest 1 and 2) Priest 1: Son of God, did you say? Priest 2: King of the Jews, did you say? Woman 1: Why, haven't you heard? It was prophesied He should enter Jerusalem, on a donkey. That's what we're all waiting for! Woman 2: (Holding hand of lame child) I'm hoping he can heal my little lad - that he can perform a miracle. Just as he has done for so many others! Woman 1: What a wonderful man! What power he has! (Priest 1 and 2 take themselves to one side, to continue their conversation between just the two of them) Priest 2: Who is this man who claims to be king and Son of God? Priest 1: And those ‘magic powers' of his? I don't like the sound of them, one little bit! Priest 2: What would our High Priest say? What would King Herod say? Priest 1: Guilty on two counts, me thinks! Priest 1: Blasphemy and treason! Priest 2: Let's hang around and see this king for ourselves! Child 1: Here he comes! Here he comes! Woman 1: Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord! Woman 2: Blessed is the great prophet from Nazareth! (Enter Jesus. Walks along ‘crowd' of well-wishers, all waving palm leaves and singing. At the end of the ‘line', Jesus stands smiling, enjoying the singing)

Easter Egg Hunt Assembly – Key Stage II Cast Size - 10 or 30 (short and long version within one script - as explained in production notes) or any number in between. The main characters? Clumsy Chicken, Tactless Turkey, Grumpy Goose, Daft Duck, Feisty Pheasant, Greedy Guinea Fowl, Sad Swan, Envious Emu, 'Onourable Ostrich ... and an Easter Bunny called Funny Bunny! A star cast! And with over 20 jokes (not all of them fowl!) - join the crew and find out if Clumsy Chicken can be saved from her fate - as roast chicken! Duration: 10 - 20 minutes. (10 minutes reading time; addition of songs/music takes performance to around 20 minutes) Also available to buy separately: Key Stage I version of this script - Clumsy Chicken is joined by 29 feathery friends! The perfect excuse for a mask-making extravaganza! These two scripts could be combined to add length to either i.e. jokes from the Easter Egg Hunt (KS II) could be added to the Key Stage I script; and additional characters from the Key Stage I script added to the Key Stage II script. Sample Text Child 13: How do you make a rabbit stew? (Pauses) Make it wait for three hours! Funny Bunny: (Holding up hands) OK! Enough! Child 14: What do you call a rabbit with fleas? Bugs Bunny! Funny Bunny: (Angrily, and having a quick itch) OK! What didn't you understand about enough? Clumsy Chicken: (Jumping up and down, hysterically, on the spot) And I'm running out of time! Don't you see? If I can't give a basketful of eggs to the farmer, I'm .... I'm... Tactless Turkey: Roasted? I think that's the word you're looking for! (Clumsy Chicken clucks all the louder) Funny Bunny: Now! Now! Don't panic! Don't panic! I'm sure help is at hand (Enter Envious Emu and ‘Onourable Ostrich) Envious Emu: (Strutting angrily up and down) Do you know? That peacock bird has been getting right up my beak! All that (demonstrates) flouncing around with her peacocky feathers! It's enough to make you ill! ‘Onourable Ostrich: Now, now! You really should try to be less envious of others! Anyone would think your name was Funny Bunny: Envious Emu? Envious Emu: How did you guess? A bunny with brains! Fancy that! Grumpy Goose: Unlike this bird - with very little brain! Maybe it never made it to the top of that neck!

Good and Bad Assembly or Class Play Ever wondered why some people are happy and others not? Could it perhaps have anything to do with their outlook on life? The two gangs in this assembly certainly see life very differently - well, they would, wouldn't they - given that one are a group of peace-loving hippies and the other, a group of street-wise warriors? But no differences are irreconcilable. Read on! Cast of 30 - easily adjustable up or down Duration - around 10 minutes without inclusion of music suggestions (which will double the length of performance) Sample Text (BG stands for Bad Gang; GG stands for Good Gang) BG Leader: (To GG Leader) There you have it, Sunshine! That’s my gang! Where’s yours? Music 3 Joybringer – Manfred Mann’s Earthband (BG 15 – 28 perform song, singing and dancing, joyously) GG Leader: (Applauding) Ah now that’s more like it! Thank you so much! GG 1: Oh! Our pleasure! Thank you for listening! BG 1: (Mimicking) Oh! Our pleasure! Thank you for listening (Bad Gang all fall about laughing) (BG 2 goes over to GG 2, in threatening manner) BG 2: So what are you going to say, little ‘joybringer’? (Bad Gang all fall about laughing) GG 2: Oh you needn’t think I’m afraid of you! BG 2: Well, you should be! I don’t reckon much of your chances in a stand up fight with us lot (Turns to Bad Gang) Am I right, guys? Bad Gang: (Aggressively) Right! (BG 2 swaggers back to seat) GG 3: Oh I can’t tell you how much we’re (pointing to Good Gang) all looking forward to that! (Collective Gasp from Bad Gang) BG 3: Are you mad? Or just plain stupid? GG 3: (Laughing) Maybe a little mad! But (pointing to Good Gang) we’re all good with that, right? Good Gang: (Joyfully) Right! BG 4: (Contemptuously) Pah! Just look at them! Thinking themselves so great! GG 4: Oh I can assure you we’re far from being just thinkers! BG 4: (Laughing, sarcastically) Right! You still up for some action? (BG 4 struts up and down, bracing his muscles; Bad Gang all do the same) GG 4: Very impressive – as a display! Shame it doesn’t have much substance! BG 5: Pah! Just jealous, that’s what you are! Making fun of us – how low can you stoop! GG 5: (Anxiously) Oh we didn’t want to make you feel bad about yourselves Music 4 Bad – Michael Jackson (Bad Gang all jump to their feet and perform again, as before)

International Children's Book Day Assembly or Class Play This script was written in celebration of International Children's Book Day April 2nd 2017 including characters from Horrid Henry, Peter Pan, The Gruffalo, Charlotte's Web, Captain Underpants, Matilda, The Tales of Narnia, Alice in Wonderland and The Very Hungry Caterpillar. NB This is the same script as World Book Day Assembly but adapted to International Children's Book Day. Cast of 30 (easily adapted up or down) Duration: Around 20 minutes not including music suggestions Sample Text: Narrator: Thank you! Of course there is so much to celebrate in the world of literature! All those wonderful inspirational characters! (Enter Horrid Henry, scowling) Horrid Henry: Dah! I suppose you’ve got a whole line up of squeaky clean characters for us today? Just got one word to say to that – BORING! Narrator: And you are? (Pauses) Oh, don’t tell me – Horrid Henry! (Aside to Audience) A shame he had to start us off today! Definitely not one of our more likeable characters! (To Henry) Now, if you don’t mind, I do have a lot of other, shall we say ‘more wholesome characters’ to introduce! Horrid Henry: (Scowling) Please yourself! (Exit Horrid Henry, giving exaggerated ‘yawns’) Narrator: (To Audience) Oh dear! Sorry about that! Let’s see if we can ‘raise the bar’ a little! (Peter Pan ‘flies’ onto the stage) Narrator: Ah! Peter Pan! How nice to meet you! Peter Pan: The pleasure is all mine! (Enter Wendy and Tinkerbell) Peter Pan: I’d like you to meet Wendy: (Curtseying) Wendy (looking at Peter Pan adoringly) Darling! Tinkerbell: (Trying to ‘swoosh’ Wendy out of the way) And Peter’s favourite, Tinkerbell! Peter Pan: (Laughing) Now, now Tinkerbell! We have spoken about that jealousy thing! (Tinkerbell pulls a face, sulking) Wendy: Oh but she’s so adorable! You can’t be cross with her for long! (Enter Horrid Henry) Horrid Henry: What was I saying about those yukky sugary-sweet characters? Time to introduce some more interesting ones! (Horrid Henry beckons to Captain Cook and Crocodile) (Enter Captain Cook and Crocodile, snapping at Narrator’s heels) Narrator: (Angrily) Who let this beast on here? (Glaring at Horrid Henry) Oh I might have known you’d be up to no good!

World Cup 2018 Leavers’ Assembly Duration: around 15 minutes. Cast size suitable for one class - or year group of two or three classes. Who would have thought Mr. Head would have so much trouble in this Leavers' Assembly - disciplining his own staff?! There's Mr. Place - a geography teacher with an unfortunate temper; there's Mrs Sums - with an unfortunate obsession with numbers; there's Mrs Write - with her unfortunate outspokenness ... are you spotting a pattern here? And as for Mr. Force from the science department ... well, let's just say he might have pushed his luck just that little bit too far on this occasion! Anyway, hat's off to Mr. Head as he struggles on. After all, football is just a game, isn't it?! Sample Text Mr. Head: Ah! Mrs Write, our Literacy expert! Mrs Write: (Enunciating every word slowly and perfectly) Good morning, Mr. Head. Good Morning, children! Students: Good morning, Mrs Write! Mrs Write: Before we go any further, I do feel it is important that our children can tell the difference between fact and fantasy! Mr. Head: Er, don't you mean facts and opinions? Mrs Write: (Impatiently) Just so! Though some of my students seem to be indulging in some very worrying fantasies at the moment. Student 1: But you're always telling us to use our imaginations, Miss! Mrs Write: ‘Tis true. But we also need to keep a certain hold on reality. And, to put it bluntly .... (pausing) Mr. Head: (Impatiently) Yes, Mrs Write. We haven't got all day! Mrs Write: Well, as long as you can assure me that I won't upset anyone in speaking my mind? Mr. Head: It's never stopped you in the past! Mrs Write: (Cagily) Well, it's about England's chances of winning the World Cup! Mr. Head: Ah! (Pauses) Now I see where you're coming from. Could I suggest you proceed with extreme caution? With extreme tact, even? Mrs Write: Oh don't you worry! You're looking at somebody who can not only write to the highest standard but is also always right in everything she says .. Mr. Head: (Aside) And so modest with it! Mrs Write: Let me just tell anyone who is nursing any illusions about England winning Mr. Head: (Anxiously) I think I mentioned tact, Mrs Write? Mrs Write: Well .... (takes a deep breath and then blurts out) England doesn't stand the faintest chance of winning the World Cup! (Mr. Head covers his head in despair, as all students rise to their feet in uproar) Mrs Write: You see what I mean? Somebody had to tell them! They shouldn't be allowed to continue believing in this fantasy! Mr. Head: (In exasperation) Mrs Write! Have you ever heard the expression ‘Like a bull in a china shop'?

Pet Care Assembly for Key Stage I This script is a totally moveable feast! The cast consists of Narrator (Class Teacher) plus 30 pets - the number and type of pets can, of course, be changed to match any class requirement. Although it is full of humorous moments, the message behind it is a serious one - that of taking the business of pet care itself seriously. The length of this performance is around 10 - 15 minutes *plus - allowing for ‘parade’ and ‘additions’ from children themselves i.e. information about their particular pets. It could potentially be double this length depending on how much additional information and suggested poetry is included. Great fun. Would love to see this performed! Sample Text: Narrator: You see, pets do take a lot of looking after. They are a big responsibility! (Pauses) What do you think is the most important part of looking after a pet? Child 4: Making it happy? Narrator: Correct! Child 5: And healthy! Narrator: Well done! So, you have to do a lot of homework before you even choose a pet. Child 6: Sounds like being at school! Child 7: Having a pet is meant to be fun! Narrator: But it’s no fun for your pet if it’s not looked after properly. Take that Great Dane, for example. (‘Great Dane’ stands up) Child 8: He’d take a lot of feeding! Narrator: Correct! Big dogs like big meals! But that’s not all! Child 9: He’ll need a lot of exercise! Child 10: Long walks! Narrator: Two or three times a day! He won’t want to be left inside by himself all day! (Great Dane shakes his head in agreement and sits down) Narrator: Animals have needs, just like us! And we need to respect their needs! Maybe someone could share with us, how they look after their pet? Child 11: I have two guinea pigs called Bill and Ben! Narrator: Two guinea pigs? Child 11: Yes, they like company! Narrator: And where do you keep them? Child 11: In a hutch with a nice grassy run. They also have cardboard boxes and pipes to hide in if they get frightened.

Winter Assembly for Key Stage One Cast of 30 - easily adaptable up or down Duration: Around 10 - 15 minutes. This length can be extended by the addition of suggested poems. Brrrr! .... surely there's a bit more to be said about winter than this?! Well, if left to our cast it would just be the sound of snoring - any excuse to follow the lead of that hibernating hedgehog. Fortunately, you can always rely on a bit of Disney to revive flagging spirits - plus some snowball fights and a few words from our rockin robin! This is one of a set of plays on The Seasons - all available as separate purchases. Sample Text (Enter group of children all dressed in winter clothes) Child 23 – 27: (Together) We’re all warm! Narrator: And how is that? Child 23: I have a warm woolly hat! Child 24: I have a warm woolly scarf! Child 25: I have warm woolly gloves! Child 26: I have warm woolly socks and welly boots! Child 27: And we all have Child 23 – 27: Warm woolly coats to keep us warm! (Exit group of children) Narrator: Hmm! Warm and woolly seems to work! Music 5 Rockin Robin – Michael Jackson (Enter Robin/Child 28 dancing to song that is sung by rest of the cast) Narrator: (Applauding) Well, that was very upbeat! (To robin) You don’t seem to have any problems with the cold weather! Robin: Well, it’s not always easy, you know! And I am always grateful to those kind people that leave me food out in their gardens! Narrator: Well, you are our favourite national bird Robin: And those Christmas cards just wouldn’t be the same without me, right? Narrator: Right! (Exit Robin) (Sound of loud snoring, from the cast) Narrator: Hey! What’s going on? Music 6 All I have to do is dream – Everly Brothers (Optional excerpt – first couple of bars) (Enter very sleepy hedgehog/Child 29) Hedgehog: (Rubbing eyes) Oh! Where’s my bed? I must have sleepwalked off, by mistake!

Autumn Assembly for Key Stage I One of a set of assemblies on the Seasons. Cast of 30 - easily adjustable up or down. It is suggested that the class teacher takes the role of narrator. Duration - around 10 minutes but can be extended with inclusion of list of suggested poems Swallows, squirrels, deer, bats, .... children! Our narrator certainly has his work cut out keeping this assembly under control! Ever tried keeping a hibernating hedgehog or two sleepy dormice awake? Or silencing a flock of Brent Geese? Just two of the tasks facing our, as always, seriously challenged narrator! Sample Text: (Dormice curl up together and drop off to sleep) Narrator: Hey you two! Not yet! Wake up! (Both dormice yawn and stretch sleepily) Dormouse 1: Is it April yet? Dormouse 2: I think I’ll leave it to May this year! Dormice: (Together) Yeah! Let’s have a lie in! Narrator: You most certainly will not! Do I look like a Dormouse babysitter? Be off with you! (Exit Bats and Dormice) (Enter Hedgehog, making loud snuffling noises; he collects up some of the leaves left behind by the children, makes a nest of them and lies down in the middle) Narrator: Aha! And who do we have here? Our first hibernating hedgehog! Hedgehog: (Huffily getting out ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign and placing it next to his nest) Can’t you read? Narrator: You’re a bit early! It’s not November yet! Hedgehog: So? (Putting on night cap) (Rubbing tummy) I’ve done enough eating! I’m ready for sleep!